TIME FLIES

June 30th, 2008

I uploaded some videos on Youtube. 4 to be exact.  Clicking on that link may get you there. I can’t be sure. I’ve got bigger fish to fry. I found this on the Internet while doing research this week. It should clue you in to what I’ve been dealing with. 

PODCAST AND OH, SO MUCH MORE

May 20th, 2008

For all those kind folks who wrote to tell me that my website seemed a little constipated, here I is and this is what I’ve been up to….

Went to New Orleans. Great.

Went to Houston. Great.

Ate a lot of food. Weaseled out of a speeding ticket by distracting the officer with talk of Whataburgers. Great.

Came home. Great.

Then…

My car broke down.
I lost two hours of my life to Time Warner cable only to discover that my airport had died.
I dislocated my shoulder, and spent a week on ice.
I contemplated murder while dealing with more health insurance bullshit.
I had my vacuum cleaner repaired.
I had half my living room reupholstered after waking up one morning and deciding that I couldn’t look at it looking the same for one more second. (These things happen when one works from home.)
I fell in love with embroidered vinyl.  
I bought a Swopper and a new car stereo.
I had the most painful massage of my life.
I had a garage sale.
I got called in for jury duty.
I wrote a pilot.
And I recorded a podcast.

I had planned to do the podcast with my neighbor like radio theatre, but he was having a hard time with my “inane direction” so it’s just me (and some sweet sound fx). 

Check it out by hitting the MYSPACE LINK ABOVE. It’ll get easier, but that’s the best I can do right now. I’m on my way to Vegas. I’ll report back soon.   

THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN AMERICA

February 12th, 2008

OK.  So I’ve really been failing as a blogger, and I’m sure anyone reading this isn’t interested in excuses, but things are getting a little crazy around here.  Sure, there’s the fact that I zoomed right past Voltaire and assorted others to take the #3 spot in essay sales on Amazon yesterday.  And yes, it’s updated hourly and I have fallen since, but it was #$@! amazing to see a picture of my book just below ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY. So amazing, in fact, that I had to print out the page for possible future framing.  But the real reason I haven’t had more time to spend on blogging is because of something I never saw coming.  Suddenly, I’m getting emails from people I haven’t heard from in 10, 15, 20 years.  People I absolutely adored but lost touch with for one reason or another.  It’s incredible.  And it’s especially incredible because when I first read the essays in my book back-to-back (I hadn’t read some of them in years) I saw something that I had never realized before, which was that so much of my writing was about alienation and the desire for meaningful human connection.  So the fact that publishing this book is now allowing me to reconnect with so many wonderful people that I have known over the years sort of takes my breath away.    

As soon as I’m able to breathe again, I’ll get on with the blogging.  For now, I leave you with this quote:  

“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”

Fredrick Buechner  

I love that.  

Off to mess with young minds.  xo 

NEW TO ALL THIS STUFF

January 31st, 2008

A quick note to say that things are going to be a little freaky here for the next week or so as I try to figure out all this Interweb stuff.

WHATEVER

January 28th, 2008

I’m not sure what’s going to be happening here yet, hopefully a hodgepodge of interesting stuff. I’ve been reluctant to fully commit to a blog since it took me a year to get this website up, and even then it required the computer skills of numerous kind-hearted collaborators.I’m also considering breaking out the video camera and getting some of my funny friends involved. But they’re not always cooperative. For now, I offer you this charming picture of Frankie, who thinks this is all a big whatever, and some other random information.

What I’m reading:

No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July

Why New Orleans Matters by Tom Piazzo

Moro: The Cookbook by Sam and Sam Clark

The Sex Lives of Cannibals by J. Maarten Troost

The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum

Will report back on the above when the spirit moves me.

Other than that…

I usually get in bed with one Buddhism-related book or another.They calm me down and put things in perspective. Eight hours later, the Sex Pistols blast out of my alarm clock.

Magazines I subscribe to:

Fine Cooking

The Week

Scientific American Mind

Martha Stewart Living

I can’t remember the name of it, and I haven’t received the first issue yet, but I recently subscribed to something optimistic that only reports on good people doing good things around the world. I need it if I’m going to keep taking in the regular news. I also recently re-subscribed to the Los Angeles Times, although I’ll admit I was suckered in by the offer for a free $20 IN-N-OUT gift card. (It’s the only drive-thru hamburger I’ll eat.)

What’s in my CD player:

Actually, I’m not going to tell you what’s in my CD player because it could change an hour from now. It’s all stuff I love but things are moving around a lot. I’m feeling the need to discover new music. That’s on my list of things to do. You’ll be the first to hear about my next musical obsession. In the meantime I’ll just tell you that I’m 90% sure Until The End of the World is my favorite soundtrack, unless I’m feeling shady and mysterious, in which case it’s probably The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Oh, and I’m a giant fan of Walter “Wolfman” Washington, a must-see every time I’m back in New Orleans.

My favorite new discovery:

Maple-mustard chicken at Greenblatt’s. Delicious.

What I’ve been doing:

Battling pantry moths. If you don’t know what they are, consider yourself extremely lucky. I’ve known people who’ve had them in the past, and smugly assumed that they were either doing something wrong, or simply unclean. I was sorely mistaken. My only crime was buying a bag of pistachios. I’ve been on a seek-and-destroy mission for the last two weeks. It’s not very sexy, but I stalk the little freaks in 3” heels to make myself feel better about it. Anyway, I think I Lysoled the last one into oblivion today.

Waiting for this Love/Attraction candle to burn down. A friend brought it over “to help me out.” There was a whole witchy ceremony involved. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until she was leaving that she warned me not to blow the candle out…or else! It’s rather large. I’m supposed to put it in the bathtub or something when I leave the house/go to sleep. So now I’m living under the threat of perpetual spinsterhood unless I keep this candle aflame, which means either monitoring the #$%@ thing 24/7, or risking the loss of all my worldly possessions, as well as a possible arson conviction. (Thanks, Lizzy)

Tomorrow I’m going to begin consuming mass quantities of wheatgrass juice and see what happens. I expect to bring news of a miracle in the near future.

A great place to donate your money, time and books:

www.826la.org

Some good comedy, compliments of my brother:

www.hutton-web-design.co.uk/tanker.html

My favorite movie of the year:

This is rough because I thought I had it all figured out and then I got totally blindsided by a movie I didn’t even know existed. But let me first tell you where I was before the magic happened:

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN – The best movie I’ve seen in years. And I say that as someone who routinely walks out of movies and rarely walks into movies that promise violence. Aside from all the things everyone else it saying about it, two things really stood out for me: One, the pleasure of watching a movie with a main character who was largely unrecognizable to me and therefore came with no celebrity baggage to get in the way of my viewing experience; and two, the glorious realization that I was watching a movie featuring an older person who actually looked his age! Or maybe even older. I don’t know anymore because it’s virtually impossible to find an actor who hasn’t had “some work done.” But Tommy Lee Jones’ face was/is etched with lines. It was the face of a man who has lived life and seen the world change. I found it beautiful, and without it, I don’t think the movie would have affected me the same way.

I also loved SUPERBAD and PERSEPOLIS.

OK. So that was the wrap-up, then this happened:

I was at a friend’s house and we were going through Academy screeners looking for something to watch, when she suggested ROMANCE AND CIGARETTES. Neither one of us had ever heard of it, but the Coen brothers were involved (Executive Producers?), John Turturro directed it, and it had an incredible cast, so we decided to give it a whirl. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

I heart this movie. The whole thing feels like that moment in the Wizard of Oz when everything suddenly turns to Technicolor. Or like the moment I first tasted shrimp that had been transformed into foam (during a two-week eating spree in Barcelona). I felt as if I’d accidentally stumbled into Willy Wonka’s kitchen. I had no idea food could be so delightfully odd. Same with this movie. Halfway through I realized my cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so hard. It made my friend and I laugh so loud that we had to rewind a number of times. I’ve never really seen anything like it. It’s sort of like a bawdy version of THE UMBRELLAS OF CHERBOURG. That’s right, it was a musical. And I don’t even like musicals, but Christopher Walken speaking in Barry White lyrics and singing Tom Jones’ Delilah? What’s not to like? I rushed home afterward, downloaded Engelbert Humperdinck’s Man without Love (also featured), and have been listening to it ever since.

ROMANCE AND CIGARETTES put a spell on me.

That said, it’s not a perfect movie; the tonal shift toward the end felt a bit awkward to me. A little like coming down off an acid trip. Which may be part of the reason why it was barely released in the U.S., and even then only after Greeks, Turks and Austrians (to name but a few) were allowed to witness the magic. It hardly seems fair, especially given how many truly crappy movies hog up screens for weeks on end, but that’s Hollywood for ya. Apparently, the movie got lost amidst some studio changes, but I can also guarantee you it left a marketing executive or two scratching their heads. Sadly, it’s the “no-brainers” that are usually playing at a theatre near you.

But whatever this movie’s flaws may be, it more than makes up for them. ROMANCE AND CIGARETTES is wholly unique. It’s intelligent and imaginative and artistic and bursting with life. There was a French movie a while back called WHEN THE CAT’S AWAY that made me want to run out and fall in love; this movie made me want to run out, fall in love and have my heart broken. It made me want to be a bigger version of myself. It made me want to live larger, love better, feel deeper, and let the whole world know about it by spontaneously breaking into song-and-dance numbers. (All that in under two hours!) So much so that now I’m on a mission to make everyone see it, and wondering if it might be possible to rent out a nearby theatre for a special screening? Because what I would really like, more than anything, is to see scores of people dash up to the screen, throw their arms open, and start belting out Man Without Love. Especially now that I know all the words.

What else can I say? The movie is about love and sex and death, but mostly love, and in particular it’s about the strange love-strengthening quality that time itself possesses, the way that shared history – however imperfect that history may be – can leave us inextricably bound to one another. At least that’s what I got out of it. And that’s the beauty of it; at its core is something quite common. It’s about an everyday kind of magic. So I don’t know, maybe it is a perfect movie. Maybe I’m only just now catching on. Maybe John Turturro purposely flawed it so that it would more closely mirror the very magical — but imperfect — thing it’s about. I’m still not sure I’d call it the best movie of the year (best being such a strange term), but who cares? It was so obviously born of passion, it was one of the most audacious, smile-inducing movies I’ve ever seen, it spoke to me, and I absolutely adored everything I heard it say. It’s not a movie I will soon forget, and one that I can’t wait to see again.

ROMANCE AND CIGARETTES comes out on DVD on February 12th. I strongly suggest you rent it. It’s probably not for everyone, but even if you don’t like it, you’ll have done yourself a favor by demonstrating to the powers that be that they don’t know everything. And trust me, if you knew some of these people, you’d agree that that alone is worth the price of the rental.

I’m going to resist talking about things I don’t like for the time being.

This was a surprise…

Apparently, even cats grapple with insecurity.

More of that can be found at my happy place:

www.icanhascheezburger.com

In conclusion, I’d just like to say that I think I need to get out more – for my own good, as well as your reading pleasure. I’ll get right on that. That, and the mailing list plugin, and the discussion board, and the audio clip, and the dancing leprechauns, and all kinds of other amusements that my mind cannot yet grasp. But first I need a massage.

And by the way, I think this woman is brilliant:

http://bookcrossing.com/journal/5770047